Pretty much how I feel today

If I’m not too drunk to remember to tag these posts as #drunk TJ I’m not drunk enough.

Buying extra fat shirts and new dad jeans because this is how well my day has turned out

Buying extra fat shirts and new dad jeans because this is how well my day has turned out

I’ve never been drunk at a Walmart before.

schmergo:

I am not good at confrontation. Unless it’s the song from Les Miserables called “Confrontation.” I am great at “Confrontation.”

(via poehlerization)

contraception:

a support group for people who started saying YAAAAAAS ironically and now can’t stop

(via quintessentialmoments)